Minus 20 lbs – Chronology – Day Two and Day Three

Day Two – Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Today was very hard for me, especially the morning period. I dosed off, while helping out in a special-ed classroom. Yes, with kids, doing kids activities. I am not a morning person I wonder, if the hunger caused it, or the lack of enough sleep hours during the night. I am not a morning person, running is my wake up drug. Tea and warm water helps, sometimes, somehow!

Sadly, I forgot my lemon and ginger warm water in the car that dropped me off. Had to suck it up, until after 11:00, when I went to the neighborhood convenience store to buy a Large Lemon Tea [with drop-ins], no sugar, no extra additives! It served me well.

The afternoon was not too bad; I held my own much better. Still, I was so weak, but thankfully, less sleepy. But elsewhere, crap happened. Got home and binged on water and ginger. I should add lemon tomorrow, since I bought plenty today. Or, should I still keep them for my “Master Cleanse” starting next week?

My “Cheat Shit” today had Apple juice, homemade by yours truly, from the neighbor’s apples [NON GMO, locally grown]. Be happy, I diluted it with a full 8 ouches of water. Apple Sauce (Homemade)
Had a taste of COM’s veggie soup for dinner. Just the water in the soup, and only tongue- not teeth-tasting.Nothing of those yummy veggies. Ok, maybe I chewed a tiny weeny, but did not swallow, like a real Californian!

Good reassuring news? This morning, I weighed 13*lbs +change. In the evening, the scale gave me -2 lbs+change [we can believe in]. Could it be true that I am shedding off so fast? How can it be! Does this mean, everyday, I consume 3 lbs of food?! Very scared! So so scared of this American life, of food and big people everywhere!

Still, my body has valleys and hills and curves. My face, neck and stomach are still hosting plenty of meat. My bum bum is not in Klass. Still have at least 10lbs to go.

Day Three – Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I woke up feeling hungry, very hungry. Half the day is gone, and I have still withstood the eating temptation. I had 23 ounces of water in the morning. I had another 23 ounce this afternoon. Now I am gonna make cookies for COM. Oh on!

I didn’t make cookies, but I made munch bars (with shredded coconut, oats, wheat bran, almonds, marshmallows, butter, vanilla extra and a couple of other ingredients). Oh! The pain and agony of not being able to taste! You better believe, I did not even try to taste the mixture of all ingredients. Agony, indeed! As I do not even know, how and if they came out good?

Then I made Sorghum bread, with Rice flour, potato flour and a little corn starch (instead of tapioca), eggs, cinnamon, raisins. Quite frankly, both were total concoctions of ingredients. I am not sure how this came out either. I will let child tell me tomorrow, when he tastes.

Cheat Shit
Half a little cup of almond Milk. Then I rinse with water COM smoothie container and apple sauce bottle for breakfast with water, and drank the residues.
Technically, though, I am not cheating per “Master Cleanse” directions. The body needs to be prepared for the fast, with a week with soups or fruit drinks. So, perhaps that is in order. Hopefully, that’s all the cheating I’ll do.

Oh well, I cheated again! Child did not drink the smoothie I made him for school because, “he ran out of time.” Talking too much, I know…what it is….

Fasting is the worst form of cruelty to animals! You don’t agree with me? Try crossing a hungry lion, and tell me, if all will end pretty.

I am into my Third Day of the < 20 lbs fast, and it is plenty of pain and agony. I am definitely low, on sugar, low on energy and low on tolerance. I don’t wanna talk at all, but I have to because it is not all about me [didn’t I tell you, I ceased to be about me?].

I put myself in “Running Exile”, after the marathon 10 days ago. Nor have I been working out, except long walks and yoga at home. Perhaps I should put in a couple of more workouts; even if it’s just yoga. It might help me feel better, because I need to get busy with something else besides thinking about not eating.

I am still drinking primarily water, beside my “cheat shit”. I served COM dinner tonight: sausage, cabbage and avocado, the latter two are on my “fav list”. But I did not taste, not even taste the salt!

This punishment is killing me softly. But I need to do this for myself because I have abused my body so badly. I need to take off these extra luggage, disfiguring my mind, body and soul.

I read somewhere today that, “Nobody wants it more than yourself.” If I want it, I gotta make it happen.”
Yes, I do want it….and I want it so badly!

But it is just three days of a long haul! I hope I can make it through this week, then start off my Master Cleanse next week. That aint gonna be easy, either. I dread thinking about the “Sea-salt wash”, the yuckiest concoction I ever consumed! I am not sure, if I can do it for all the weeks [I am not gonna tell you how many weeks I am doing the fast], but I will try.

Hopefully, all this starvation will be worth it…and I can keep up afterwards. It is all about self-control. I hope I will control my eating, and throw away food when I have to, or my head will agree to freeze it [even though I do not like freezing my cooked meals so much].

But, I want to fall in love with the body I run in, again. I want to feel myself, not a tired cow, a frumpy country mom or thunder thighs I want to bring my body I want to fit perfectly into my clothes, without a concern for the front and back bumps.

Anyway, time to move my brain elsewhere, away from mourning over food.

Adios Day Three

Dear Fat, Goodbye…I am Going on a Diet

Dear Fat,

Avocado, Butternut Squash, Mackerel stir-fried Eggplant and Batata

Avocado, Butternut Squash, Mackerel stir-fried Eggplant and Batata

I am saying Goodbye starting immediately. I do not need you! I have never needed you! I am going on a Diet.

Before you say,

1) What do you wanna lose, bones?

Well, what the scale and my eyes see, don’t lie.

2) But you look great just the way you are!

That’s your opinion, which [or not so fit] of my clothes lets me feel and know otherwise.

3) But diets don’t work!

Again, so you think! It has worked for me before! And I am gonna do what I know best.

Yes, I have dieted before, and my kind of dieting helps get me back into my comfortable body shape, and healthy mind and soul.

Then again, “Why I am making a public statement about my dieting to lose weight?” you may ask.

Perhaps then, I will be accountable to not just myself, but the watching public. I will probably not go vainly, posting every inch I lose onto Instagram. But at the back of my head, in my face and mouth, I will remember there is a world out there watching me, and waiting to see those 12 pounds drop off one after the other.  Plus, nobody I encounter is not gonna make me eat, knowing I am on a diet.

You see, I am a social eater; I eat because others are eating, and because I do not want to throw away food, “It is not good for the environment or a humane caring society”…[ blah blah blah].

Once I told my son, “You have to eat all your food because there are plenty of people in the world without food.” His response, “If they do not have food, give them mine.”

I wish it was that easy, son….I wish it was that easy!

Tuna salad with all veggies

Tuna salad with all veggies

Instead, I am the depository of everyone else’s food. I eat because I have to feed Child of Mine. I eat when others offer me food, even when I am not hungry. I eat because the kids I am feeding do not eat all their food, and I do not want it thrown in the garbage. Then I eat perhaps because I am worried the food will go bad, if it is not consumed in an ample period [a week for leftovers is too much!]

Even though I typically cook for one child, I have the tendency to make more than one meal. But COM does not usually want to eat the same food the day after, unless of course it is his special treat….one of those specials like Mac & Cheese, “the yummy peanut stew and white stuff”, or our newly-found Malanga Coco. How he loves that! How scared I am to make them now, when I am fasting!

But give him ‘shrooms’ or onions or stuff like that, and I will have to wipe his plate clean, in my spirit of “saving the planet.” And since I do not want to force all of my eating preferences on COM, sometimes I buy him some “special treats”, like honey to drop in his tea, Mac & Cheese, Icy’s, Hot Dogs, and waffles. Once in a while a slice of pizza!

I am not a bread person, though I may partake of a waffle or my homemade pancakes. And, may I dare say, tempt a slice of pizza, to ‘hang with him’!

Interestingly, all these foods used to be “no-go” for me, back when life was still about me, and I kept a very vegetable and fruits diet! I now console myself that, “They are all “O”rganic, certified NON GMO, or gluten-free and vegetarian! But calories don’t lie!Biko's special treats

And calories really loved me, especially in the summer when I have more than one mouth to feed While many bodies are “bikini-” and “beach-ready”, mine is a fat suit! COM’s cousins usually come over and spend the entire summer with us. So, I cook for the clan, around the clock, feeding them, and partake [un] willingly and uncontrollably.

I make popcorn, and eat with the kids, cut watermelon, and eat with the kids, make hotdogs, and tempt myself to eat half or one, with the kids. Snack, lunch and dinner for the kids with the kids.

Made with our very own popper

Made with our very own popper

Moreover, I take on the responsibility of “wiping the plates clean” of all the kids’ unfinished food. My tongue enjoys it all, but my body suffers tremendously. While my children are happy that I saved them of their food, my gut keeps shifting outward [I can feel it], as my soul shifts into sadness. Alas!

I am now saying, no more, no more no more! I know it is hard, very hard to say no, and stay on a diet while the central feature in the kitchen! Trust me, I have tried a couple of times, then retreated to “happy eating”.

It was much easier when I was single, without Child of Mine. Now I have a constant mouth to feed and have meals with.

And how can I make meals and not taste the food for the spice, the temperature, or if it is [under]cooked? I am a real Muganda; my eyes are in my mouth [Is that the saying…?:)…].

I have been officially certified as the best chef in the world, by my household. I turn simple ingredients into magical meals! All the works of my hand taste golden in the consuming mouths. I am the one to beat, when it comes to cooking from scratch. Name anything, I’ll hook you up.

So here I am, on Day One. Watching, as COM eats the corn I just popped. Our favorite snack! But I cannot have any of it. He even tried to share with me his fruit pop, but I had to tell him that I am on diet.

Then, I had to make him dinner, with my favorite ingredients, mushrooms, purple onion, scallions and garlic. Oh I am so hungry! But I had to keep drinking the water, with lemon and ginger.

All I consumed was my lemon and ginger water, Lemon and Ginger Water…and More Lemon and Ginger Water. Ok, it’s about time I went to bed…If I can fall asleep!

To the rescue, when in a rush

To the rescue, when in a rush

This first week, I am just gonna do water, lemon and ginger. Next week, I will start on the Master Cleanse. Yes! It worked for me when I did it…I was single..But I like it, because it is a cleanse-dieting, that drains out all the crappy foods from the system.

I have been abusing my body for a while; I need to put my act together. Strategically now, after running my last marathon of the year, when I do not have to consume extra calories to fuel my body. I don’t care that winter is coming, I will fuel it with a large coat! Don’t need the extra energy now, though I will keep exercising.

Master Cleanse, here we come! The Cayenne Pepper, Lemons, Maple Syrup Grade B, and water, will get a little sugar injected into the system for energy, Cleaner than consuming water, lemon and honey. Add to that, the “sea salt flush” every morning, the extra cleanser of impurities from the system.

So, watch me as I go 12 pounds down!

And I will finally happily say,

Adios!

Main ingredients are Sorghum  and potato flour

Main ingredients are Sorghum and potato flour

We call this "Lumonde" in Uganda. Special Treat

We call this “Lumonde” in Uganda. Special Treat

Homemade Apple Sauce with apples from our neighbor

Homemade Apple Sauce with apples from our neighbor