Minus 20 lbs – Chronology – Day Two and Day Three

Day Two – Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Today was very hard for me, especially the morning period. I dosed off, while helping out in a special-ed classroom. Yes, with kids, doing kids activities. I am not a morning person I wonder, if the hunger caused it, or the lack of enough sleep hours during the night. I am not a morning person, running is my wake up drug. Tea and warm water helps, sometimes, somehow!

Sadly, I forgot my lemon and ginger warm water in the car that dropped me off. Had to suck it up, until after 11:00, when I went to the neighborhood convenience store to buy a Large Lemon Tea [with drop-ins], no sugar, no extra additives! It served me well.

The afternoon was not too bad; I held my own much better. Still, I was so weak, but thankfully, less sleepy. But elsewhere, crap happened. Got home and binged on water and ginger. I should add lemon tomorrow, since I bought plenty today. Or, should I still keep them for my “Master Cleanse” starting next week?

My “Cheat Shit” today had Apple juice, homemade by yours truly, from the neighbor’s apples [NON GMO, locally grown]. Be happy, I diluted it with a full 8 ouches of water. Apple Sauce (Homemade)
Had a taste of COM’s veggie soup for dinner. Just the water in the soup, and only tongue- not teeth-tasting.Nothing of those yummy veggies. Ok, maybe I chewed a tiny weeny, but did not swallow, like a real Californian!

Good reassuring news? This morning, I weighed 13*lbs +change. In the evening, the scale gave me -2 lbs+change [we can believe in]. Could it be true that I am shedding off so fast? How can it be! Does this mean, everyday, I consume 3 lbs of food?! Very scared! So so scared of this American life, of food and big people everywhere!

Still, my body has valleys and hills and curves. My face, neck and stomach are still hosting plenty of meat. My bum bum is not in Klass. Still have at least 10lbs to go.

Day Three – Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I woke up feeling hungry, very hungry. Half the day is gone, and I have still withstood the eating temptation. I had 23 ounces of water in the morning. I had another 23 ounce this afternoon. Now I am gonna make cookies for COM. Oh on!

I didn’t make cookies, but I made munch bars (with shredded coconut, oats, wheat bran, almonds, marshmallows, butter, vanilla extra and a couple of other ingredients). Oh! The pain and agony of not being able to taste! You better believe, I did not even try to taste the mixture of all ingredients. Agony, indeed! As I do not even know, how and if they came out good?

Then I made Sorghum bread, with Rice flour, potato flour and a little corn starch (instead of tapioca), eggs, cinnamon, raisins. Quite frankly, both were total concoctions of ingredients. I am not sure how this came out either. I will let child tell me tomorrow, when he tastes.

Cheat Shit
Half a little cup of almond Milk. Then I rinse with water COM smoothie container and apple sauce bottle for breakfast with water, and drank the residues.
Technically, though, I am not cheating per “Master Cleanse” directions. The body needs to be prepared for the fast, with a week with soups or fruit drinks. So, perhaps that is in order. Hopefully, that’s all the cheating I’ll do.

Oh well, I cheated again! Child did not drink the smoothie I made him for school because, “he ran out of time.” Talking too much, I know…what it is….

Fasting is the worst form of cruelty to animals! You don’t agree with me? Try crossing a hungry lion, and tell me, if all will end pretty.

I am into my Third Day of the < 20 lbs fast, and it is plenty of pain and agony. I am definitely low, on sugar, low on energy and low on tolerance. I don’t wanna talk at all, but I have to because it is not all about me [didn’t I tell you, I ceased to be about me?].

I put myself in “Running Exile”, after the marathon 10 days ago. Nor have I been working out, except long walks and yoga at home. Perhaps I should put in a couple of more workouts; even if it’s just yoga. It might help me feel better, because I need to get busy with something else besides thinking about not eating.

I am still drinking primarily water, beside my “cheat shit”. I served COM dinner tonight: sausage, cabbage and avocado, the latter two are on my “fav list”. But I did not taste, not even taste the salt!

This punishment is killing me softly. But I need to do this for myself because I have abused my body so badly. I need to take off these extra luggage, disfiguring my mind, body and soul.

I read somewhere today that, “Nobody wants it more than yourself.” If I want it, I gotta make it happen.”
Yes, I do want it….and I want it so badly!

But it is just three days of a long haul! I hope I can make it through this week, then start off my Master Cleanse next week. That aint gonna be easy, either. I dread thinking about the “Sea-salt wash”, the yuckiest concoction I ever consumed! I am not sure, if I can do it for all the weeks [I am not gonna tell you how many weeks I am doing the fast], but I will try.

Hopefully, all this starvation will be worth it…and I can keep up afterwards. It is all about self-control. I hope I will control my eating, and throw away food when I have to, or my head will agree to freeze it [even though I do not like freezing my cooked meals so much].

But, I want to fall in love with the body I run in, again. I want to feel myself, not a tired cow, a frumpy country mom or thunder thighs I want to bring my body I want to fit perfectly into my clothes, without a concern for the front and back bumps.

Anyway, time to move my brain elsewhere, away from mourning over food.

Adios Day Three

Ramadan 2013: We are ALL Africans

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Ramadan Kareem to all my Muslim friends and family!

I find myself actively taking part in Ramadan 2013, with 14 days of fast. This is not a conscious decision; it is totally by coincidence. And it is not so easy, since I am surrounded by all the foods I like -fruits and vegetables- that I cannot touch until after the 14 days (my fast is coming with a twist). Moreover I am babysitting two little kids…whom I have to feed during the day…without touching or tasting their food.

But  I am glad it is happening, and I can share this special moment with my friends and family. Those who know me have had that, if I were to attach myself to any [dis]organized religions we are bombarded with in this world, I would be a muslim. I know you might be thrown off with surprise that I DO NOT subscribe to any religion. You are not the first; my family cannot believe it either! Nor my friends!

“How can you not have a religion?”

Well, it is possible, I often say

“So, you do not believe in God?,” the questions continue

“Well, maybe I do not believe in God as you think of him/her. But that does not mean I have no faith or belief system. My religion 

is humanity.

See, as I grew up, I made a conscious decision NOT to subscribe to any religious group, after my experiences with, especially Christianity and all its relatives. I grew up around three main religions – Protestant, Catholicism and Islam – within my family and among friends. My mother is of a double religion in a way – father’s immediate family is predominantly Catholic, although her father was Protestant. Apparently, her father grew up with a Protestant family, and went on to become a Protestant Reverend (Preacher). So  my mother and her family took after he daddy. Of course, within my own family are inter-religious marriages, bringing us a variety. As I grew up, I went in and out of the revivalist evangelist religions imported into Uganda from, especially North America – Baptist, Pentecostal, methodist, ….

Talking about friends, my best friend in elementary school was muslim. During Ramadan, she would invite myself and a couple of her other friends to break the day’s fast at her family home. I remember us feasting on rice (the origin of my LOVE for rice) with beef, fresh fruits and juices! It did not matter that we were not muslim, we were allowed to eat to our fill. Similarly, area mosques would feed anyone who came to eat at the mosque during the “break of the fast” every evening at seven O’clock.

That and other experiences have shaped my outlook on Islam. Plus, I was once engaged to be married to a Senegalese, and I lived and conducted graduate research in Senegal.

Senegalese are one of the best people the world has ever blessed us with, that I wonder if it is the African in them or the religion. In 2007, family and friends still eat together on one large plate, like we did as kids at my grandmother’s place. If one’s family brought him/her lunch food at work, they would park for more mouths to feed, and five or more of us would  eat together. Senegalese also have this level of contentment with who they are and what they have. I do not know if that is derived from or shapes their belief system? Perhaps that explains why they have NEVER changed political power through a military coup!

Now I have a moslem family, not only among my sister’s marriages, but my son’s grandparents who are practicing muslims. I respect that and I enjoy watching as they commune together, in food, worship and sharing. To me, Islam manifests itself as a communitarian bond not a religion, contrary to the Christian religions I grew up with. The way they were pushed to me was exclusionist, “if you do not believe in JC, you go to Hell.”

Why I am saying all this? Well, because as I was reflecting on Ramadan 2013, it appeared to me as the opportune tagline for “We are ‘ALL] Africans, the name of my blog. The communitarianism that comes with Ramadan, when we are all invited to feast and share in

the celebration is a key branding of the African spirit of Ubuntu or humaness. That we, Africans care and lookout for one another more than any other grouping in the world. Although I have strong reservations about that.

First, if human origin is in Africa, then all humans are Africans with the spirit of Ubuntu. Secondly, do we Africans really have a monopoly of Ubuntu, when we are branded the world over as the center of senseless killings, human sacrifice, wars, hunger, famine and mal-government? How is it possible for all that to exist with Ubuntu?

After spending about a month (May 21 to June 20) visiting Scotland (Edinburgh, Glasgow and Aberdeen), I am inclined to say that, perhaps Scotts have a thing to teach Africans and the world about Ubuntu. They, like Senegalese are some of the most POSITIVE spirited people I have EVER encountered. and YES! they live almost their entire calendar year wearing sweaters because of the cold (similar to northern America and European), which is often an excuse for “why people are cold to one another”. But they are pure spirited, positive, kind and loving. They voluntarily offer to be good, to speak to strangers, to help out a stranger and to talk to one another. It was odd  (though shocking to “the American” in me) to hear my best friend, we had gone to visit, strike up a conversation the cab driver, even in a city like Edinburgh. In New York City, you sit in the cab, shut your mouth until you are paying to disembark. No conversation, no contact with the cab driver.

While plenty of restaurants are bars where kids are not allowed, once you find one, sitting is not allocated based on “color of your skin” -at least it appeared to me. If a seat is available, anyone will take it. We talk to one another at the bus stop, in a shopping or grocery store and on the streets. A stranger will waive down a taxi for you because he overheard you talking about finding one. The spirit of the Scotts is absolutely golden and beautiful that it makes me wonder, if our focus should not be on humanity in our midst, rather than subscribing to those religions whose home is NOT here…but in some imagined place! Perhaps the Scotts are the true Africans and home to our promised land – of free giving and Ubuntu!

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