Can I say, you just sneaked up on me? Maybe Not. But you came with a Big Nasty Bang!
It’s been a long dry September…….Not very dry….Though, the month started off hot hot hot! Though, the heat did not stay around for too long.
Except in our hearts and souls.
September started off with the loss of a loved one. My son’s paternal grandpa (RIP). He should not have gone, I selfishly still say. He ailed so bad, too long, not to pull through; I thought he would make it, and look back on how painful it was…but glad he jumped back into shape! Too young! At some point, I would have to shut away the regrets, and remember the happy times.
But the loss came with a gain. Of a lost love. Well, the kind of “lost one” you cannot easily extricate yourself from, because you are [in]conveniently plugged into each other’s life. Eleven days, unexpectedly, lovingly spent; the longest period of our tri-life! Who would have re-imagined? Thankful! Grateful!
Anyway, it is six days of October so far, and I am still looking for a shinning light at the beginning and end of the tunnel. The first week of October seemed to be a quick slide from Spring into Winter. Temperatures went down, and chilly. Bringing a chill to our lives and hearts. It is pretty dry, more than I expected. Amazingly, the leaves are not falling off as fast as the smiles around here. Slowly turning yellow, read, orange and brown, though not yet too much cover on the ground.
Sobs sobs sobs! We do not sob very often around here, unless, of course, we are seven and below. We have been pretty happy, except at the losses. We have tried to keep the peace around here, with kids running around, yelling and preoccupying us with their wit and creativity. No more! Could it be that the new Fall school term comes with the reality that, we are stuck in school for the longest haul, no more long summers of children, except for a Columbus Day break, Thanksgiving and December/Christmas/Winter Break?
Then came a social relationship shuttered. That relationship you thought was here to stay longest. In fact, you planned your geographical locale based on certain social relations. Alas! Your type is not as valuable as you thought, it is about time to find another home. So much humiliation than can comprehend. Sometimes, even those we pay to render a service do not respect your worth. Sometimes, one needs to cleanse themselves of all the humiliation with wailing and sobbing. I believe in the power of “quiet tears” cleansing the soul
But, one has to return to sanity, and celebrate that which we have available – Life, air, loved ones, legs, stamina and the hope for another day. As long one can still breath, we should remain grateful. We are grateful for the loved ones, for friendships, for our children. That Child of Mine is in good health, working hard, outdoing himself, creating, caring and soothing me, when I cry. [And I had never allowed myself to cry in front of my own son.]
Time to celebrate that I have a marathon to run in about five days, my second this year. Anxiously awaiting that! That I have developed my website, and received exhaustive, outstanding comments from a real professional, in the game. Plus, I have a book chapter on Pan-Africanism to get in before the end of this month.
As the leaves start to Fall, I will fall into an aggressive mood, marketing my passion(s) as my profession(s). Bring these ideas to life, especially these three: running, writing and mobilizing. Time to bring my aggression on. Tough times call for tough people.