Runner’s Guilt

I am a runner, who tends to stick to a schedule, mental or written. Guilt engulfs me each time I do not run as scheduled [again mental or written schedule]. In fact, most of my schedule is mental.
I love running, because it is part of me. No! I do not run to lose weight [as I have been asked by several]; I run because I like it, to freshen up, to think, dream and plan, and I run to reclaim my happiness. I feel terrible when I do not go out to run. I feel like plenty of my time is wasted away, and robbed of me! I am not a happy camper when I do not run. Especially when my excuse is awfully ‘unthere’!
Like this past Sunday! That I continued to lay in bed, wide awake, at the time I usually go out to run! Excuse? I made myself busy working, when I should have put in at least an hour of a run.
I want to cry myself to sleep, for missing my morning run. Weekends are kind of tricky because i am a full-time mother till bedtime. From time to time, I have morning ‘baby watch-over’, like this Sunday. Moreover, the weather was beautiful! That would have been a beautiful run, but I did not make it happen.
I thought I would go out later in the day, when child was off to “play-date”. That did not happen, either. Child was so slow with his chores, mummy school and school homework, that we did not even have a chance to go out for a walk. I am still seated here supervising his mom-school assignment. Literally three hours later! How can this be? Talking, procrastinating, nagging and tantrums all add up to accumulate more minutes.
Trouble is, each time I miss a run, I spend more time procrastinating and beating myself up, than doing great work. Now let’s see what it’s gonna be like tomorrow. Whether I will be able to go out in the freezing rain to put in a run. Probably not, again! Sadly! School might be closed!  Expecting Freezing rain and sleet; not conducive for buses driving on our mountainous roads

2 thoughts on “Runner’s Guilt

  1. Sorry about missing your run 😦
    I know how you enjoy those.
    I’m still doing walk-runs and trying to stick to schedule. Feel pretty awesome when I do 🙂
    Keep running-you inspire me.

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