New Year Resolutions from A Mother to A Wimpy Child

I have heard people claiming that making New Year Resolutions is so cliché! Everyone goes on to breaks their resolutions, so why bother?
Well, I still believe there is reason to set annual resolutions at the beginning of each year. Similar to academic life, professional or business ventures, everybody needs goals. Something to aspire to or to keep one grounded; something against which to judge oneself -successes or failures, losses or wins; or cause a celebration, and plan for more celebrations. We all need that oomph; a year is too long not to want to prove, reform or redeem oneself.
So yes, I will be keeping some resolutions around this year. But I will not tell you what they are, except to give you a clue: SECURITY!
There you have it, all my New Years resolutions summed up in one word. And sorry no! I will not be quitting social media, anytime soon.
While we are at resolutions, here is something I thought would be perfect New Year Resolutions from Mother to A Wimpy Child.
1. No more thumb sucking, apparently because it tastes like milk. Next time you want milk, feel free to suck on the farm cows like calves do.
2. If you get up and do not make your bed, kindly get rid of your beddings by throwing them out of the house for good.
3. You do not like the food I make you, be my guest. Pick up a fruit of your choice, with a bottle of water for dinner.
Wimpy Child
4. If you have nothing good to say, allow your mouth to remain closed, including from sulking and sobbing.
5. You think homework is too hard and boring? Try listening to yourself whining.
6. Always remember that I brought you into this world, and I can swiftly take you back where you came from.
7. You’re just jealous that I am boss-lady. Try being the servant, then tell me which one you prefer.
8. I am the tree, you are the plane. Last time I checked, a tree does not get out of the way for a plane’s passage.
9. I know it is hard being a boy. Don’t worry, your Scottish roots allow you to escape into your skirts, and your Baganda roots a man-dress.
10. And if your birthday seems to take too long to come around, always remember there are typically 365, and February 29 is not an annual guarantee.
Happy New Year Wimpy Child, the world would be such a dull place without your sulk to make the sky cloudy, your tears to make rain fall, and your cold shoulder to freeze into snow!
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this piece are said to be those of this person’s “alter ego”…and do not necessarily represent the “other person” 😉😘

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