Modern-Day Parenting

I am staying home today because Child of Mine is sick. Since I am not going in to the job that pays my bills, I will work on my goals, that often fall off when I come home too tired and dose off. Plus, “Mommy School” is open today; child will be fully engaged. We have plenty of exciting projects the whole day. Child continues to build his math tables, especially with multiplication.

I would have loved to work today; I love to end my week amidst the energies of our young learners. They energize me and keep me in overdose vibration until the beginning of another week. But when duty calls, I oblige. First things first,  parent; a single parent, moreover!

Just the other day on my ride to work, I was thinking to myself how Modern-Day Parenting has changed. I am reliant on the goodness of neighbors, instead of family, to help in my parental responsibilities! My neighbors kindly help me take my child to the bus stop in the morning, when I leave for work early, then walk him back from the bus at the end of day.

True, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but it is not the same village experience I grew up around. Biological Family, was the most immediate “Village,” without second thought or feeling of inconvenience. True, neighbors, friends and even strangers, have always been a part of “The Village”. Although today, they might be the first point of support in raising our children. Story of my life!

I grew up in the care of my grandmother, my cousins aunts, uncles and siblings. In fact from the age of two, my mother dropped me off to live with my grandmother, to ease her responsibilities, taking care of five other school-going children, plus a teaching career. I returned to my family home about four or five years of age, ready to start pre-primary.

Throughout my childhood, our families including my uncles and aunts dropped off their children at our grandmother’s home during the school holiday, and returned to pick us up close to start of the next school term. Nobody asked for my grandmother’s consent, it was a given! That’s what grandparents are for -to take care of all their children’s children,  without questioning. It was a joyous time –grandparents indulge their all grandchildren!

On the plus side, all of us children helped around the house with chores: washing dishes, laundry, cleaning outside and inside the house, gardening, harvesting, fetching wood, water, harvesting, cooking, and any chore requested. Being among the youngest grandchildren, my work assignments were simpler. I must say, I do not remember doing much [perhaps fetching water], playing  and sitting around grandma. Particularly because she died when I was about six or seven years of age. Thereon, we all spent our long school holidays at my aunt [my mom’s elder sister] who was an Officer-in-Charge of prisons in one of the large district within Uganda. Plenty of fond memories, playing till dark, swimming in the lake all day everyday, and blissful enjoyment of each other, as siblings from multiple families.

Growing up, it was my turn to help raise my older siblings’ children, as was expected of family. I did not feel obliged, but the expected normality of growing up family. It goes without saying that older siblings help out raising their young ones, and young ones in turn help their older siblings by raising their children.

Some of my nieces and nephews lived with us, and were left in my care while their mothers were away or occupied. Others lived further from us with their families, where I commuted to help my siblings. One of my nieces was born shortly before I completed primary/middle school. Immediately thereafter, I commuted everyday to my sister’s home to help out with the new baby. I washed the baby’s clothes and hung them to dry, cleaned the house, washed the dishes, made lunch, dishes again, ironed the dry laundry, and prepared dinner for the family before heading back home. This went on until the end of my middle school vacation, and time to start secondary/junior high school. I was not even a teenager, but I took on the responsibilities expected of me as part of family.

Looking back, it is not the same, for our children. Migration, has also added another layer to family relations and redefined family bonds, commitment and child upbringing. Some of us have moved in different directions,  across seas, and oceans. The new family bonds are not necessarily built on blood but friendships or shared residence communities.

While my mother embraced all her grandchildren with the same zeal as her mother, I’ve learned that is not universal. Other grandparents may show preferential treatment for some grandchildren not others. If they reach out, it is most likely out of pity.

My desire and determination to have my child connect with his family, and share the love that family offers has been a mixed bag, fading into oblivion. Family is not offered without conditions. Very often, even amidst family, it is easier to rely on neighbors and friends for support. I am thankful for the kindness of social relations, willing to step in and give a hand. Thankful for the modern-day parents, who are helping to raise the child together. The “Village” is still pertinent to modern-day parenting; it is a different kind of village.

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My Child, the Nature Lover!

Don’t be scared, that your child is “doing nothing.” Rocktating

Don’t be suspicious of the “silence coming from your child.”

Be thankful, for the “nothingness” that your child might be engaged in. OR so you might think!

 

In fact, he might be daydreaming. “And there’s nothing wrong with daydreaming,” as I tell child of mine, a huge fan, that it has literally become a hobby. I tell him, “Through daydreaming, you can create magic, imagine big, write books, and make dreams come true!”

“It is ok to daydream,” I let him know to him. “As long as you don’t get lost for-ever, that you miss out on all your other responsibilities and activities.”

Through his quiet, he re-imagines what he has observed, dreamed of, or designs in his head. There are animals, robots, make-believe creatures, zombies, architectural structures, fruits, places. Increasingly, I am becoming more and more fascinated, and attached to his [re]imagination about the fauna and flora. How he interprets what he learns about them, incorporates them into his everyday play activities, and utilizes them to benefit our nature wanderlust!

My son the Nature Lover enjoys all things wilderness! My son knows the names of animals and plants I have never heard of, in all my eyes. My son knows features and characteristics of plenty of animals, even ones I have never heard of. He knows a lot about our environment, our waters and plant life. Little wonder, he founded “Kids Earth Patrol,” to mobilize kids in his social network protect Mother Nature, with an annual Kids Cleaning Laurel Lake, in commemoration of World Earth Day!

We have “Wild Kratts,” to thank, a children show on Public Broadcasting Station (PBS) about nature. This, from a previously sworn “Enemy of TV!”

Mommy says, “TV rots the brain,” so he would tell to all his friends and family.

Well, that is because I never exposed him to TV when he was young, unless of course he was watching videos of the super-ambitious, “Your Baby Can Read,” at six months. When we lived in Norway and South Africa, after he turned one, we did not own a TV set in our apartment, by choice. I am typically not a TV person. Thereafter, in Uganda, I intentionally and actively kept him away from TV, due to the lack of streamlined screening of TV shows, with no hour or channel designated specifically PG. Kids watch adult shows on TV anytime of day, not exciting for this TV hater.

On returning to the US, I kept him away from TV to avoid the “TV trap” kids common among kids in America, often glued on TV the entire day. Then I learned about PBS Kids, and all these amazing children TV shows like, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, Curious George, Sid the Science Kid, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Arthur, Super Y, you name it all. And the more he grows, the more exciting their become —now there’s odd squad!

Nature Lover_Fotor (1)

Child of mine is now addicted to Wild Kratts; he has learned about so many animals, their behaviors, what they eat, their lifetime, their powers, name anything. Thankfully, his addiction comes handy! This past Saturday, while attending a Wateriest event organized by our neighborhood Brodhead Creek Recreation Authority, child’s “nature expertise” came handy!

On the Scavenger Hunt for animals hidden in the creek, he identified birds by their sounds, beaks, feathers and how they glide in the air. On a nature/trail walk through the creek, he identified plants and trees, told me their classification, and growth patterns. He knew the conifers, the pines and deciduous trees. He observed leaves and flowers with his magnifying glasses, and enjoyed playing “a Spy Scientist.”

When at a fish shocking demonstration, I asked why they were shocking the fish, getting them out of the water and back. He explained to me that, fish shocking helps with testing water quality; if there are more fish, then the water is safe and of good quality. And the water expert agreed with child, and supplemented that fish shocking also takes stock of fish in our water basin.

 

How did he learn that? Through “Reading Rainbow Video” he watched at school! Hello my scientist! While he is into robots, as he says, he’s not too far from water science. Sitting by the stream, watching fishers, he came up with an idea of making our own fishing rod. He found an abandoned hook, fishing line, a stick and some scattered fish food. We tried our hands at designing our rod, Voila! Except that, we did not catch any fish….But, there’s always another time. Maybe when we go Fly Fishing next Sunday!

And when, Mr. Snake chased us from the waters, were we had been swimming, my Nature Lover took the first guess, “Maybe it is a rattle snake!”

It was not, but at least, it was great to have somebody with an idea. While, I was the scout and main driver to go enjoy the nature festivities in the community, child’s immense love and knowledge depository was the icing on a hot day! I had tons of fun, taking in all that nature has to give in our neighbor, while learning from my child the specificities in our natural surrounding.

Everybody should have a Nature Lover! Nature gives us so freely!

Teaching School Children is Blissfully Rewarding!

In many ways, Child of Mine aka COM reminds me a lot about myself. He is a very popular kid, just like his mother was back in her young days. Well, she still is, for a fact [smile]. Except, my child is not the “naughty childish-type” I was. Shhh, don’t tell anyone that I used to skip compulsory school meals and church services, just because I did not want to!

My child is loved! And for that, I am so grateful.

It’s a pleasure watching a kids’ stampede, just to touch, speak, or sit next to COM. Even in his absence, kids tell me how he is the best thing ever invented! Not even sliced bread [or should we say, pizza] comes close. He’s everyone’s favorite, super nicest person, ever! “He does nothing wrong, never” as I was told by one of his former classmate.

At his elementary school, I am now known as “Biko’s Mom” —“because I do not have a name of my own,” or “Mrs. Henderson” —“because I derive my relationship from my child!”

Please believe that I had no influence in getting renamed by these child friends of COM. It is just because, most kids I now know are through my child —at his elementary school, on the school bus, martial arts school, library, birthday parties, community activities or play parks.

These are kids who know COM from the same Kindergarten, First or Second Grade class, belong to the same school Recycling Club, met him at birthday parties of their relatives and friends, through Cub Scout, Tae-Kwon-Do or Tang Soo Do. Some even recognize me from dropping him off at the school bus! They all rave to me, how amazing he is, and spoil me with outpouring attention, and free hugs!

These past couple of days, I’ve been with a Second Grade class where literally, everybody knows my child! One of the kids decided to call me, “Mommy.”

“She’s Biko’s mother!” said another.

Then, they had a change of heart, “Can we all call you Mommy?”

And just like that, I was no longer, “Ms. Lawenger,” but “Mommy!”

The change of name came with showers of favors: ushering me to comfortable sitting, “rest while we complete our work.”

They covered me with my coat to keep me warm; I became the class pet.

Two girls offered to bring him to me from his class at the end of the both school days. I completely forgot he had Recycling Club on Day Two, when I gave them a go-ahead to bring him to me. He came in, confused that I had called him, and went back in haste, “Mommy, I have Recycling Club!”

My day ended with smiles, hugs, spontaneous “Thank You cards,” colored pictures, and unwavering attention throughout the day. One brought a gift bag from home containing an assortment of candy, with a “Thank you for helping us learn and play” note.

 

At the end of day, I told COM about all the love I got, thanks to him, and the many “children I am now mommy to”. He was overjoyed to partake of his celebrity moment! No surprises, his dreams  in the night were loud and filled with laughters, which he told me was because he heard “choruses of mommy,” from the kids my class in his dreams.

 

Ready for more surprises? The next day, as Art Teacher, my first morning class was, “my kids” from the last two days! They all engulfed me in a big family hug, as their teacher looked on in astonishment. She, too, thanked me for a wonderful job! Honored, is an understatement; had to fight back teary eyes!

I love kids, and I love teaching. I am so grateful that I allowed myself to step out of my comfort zone of teaching college and graduated school level, demystifying to myself “Teaching in K-12.” Day by day, I become more comfortable in the classroom, more savvy with teaching aides, more technical following lesson plans, incorporating, or developing my own whenever need arises. I am more energized by the students in my classrooms, and more strategic navigating tough classrooms.

I now know how to command a classroom, dealing with badly behaving students, extending incentives for good behavior, and “putting the shine” on those students making great choices. My students, naughty or nice are as memorable to me, as I am to them.

I meet them at the grocery store or community events, at our local library or COM’s after-school events. Some tell me when they see me running along the streets, during morning or afternoon “bus duty,” or walking in the hallway.

As a friend once told me, “Children Bring you blessings.” Thus, my commitment to share of the blessings of education to children everywhere in the world, by mobilizing as many people to join me in giving a part of ourselves, to promote access to education.

Every change you give can make a change. To you it might be a roundtrip bus or train fare to work; to children somewhere in rural Uganda, it is a dozen of school books and writing materials.

Please join me in giving to the Fishing Communities of Ssi Bukunja in rural Uganda, through the African Social Development & Health Initiative, an organization founded and run by native-born of the area. This is my Birthday Wish and commitment 2016

https://www.crowdrise.com/celebrate-d-lwangas-b-day-with-uganda-fishing-communities

Children bring you blessing. Be Blessed!

Under-expected Achievement – One year Teaching K-12, and Counting!

Thankful for my social media network, my anniversary teaching K-12 in my public school district would have passed me by! Without my social network, I would most likely have made no fussy attention to my anniversary. After all, I have worked in other places without ever being vigilant or celebrated an anniversary.

Thankfully, my LinkedIn network sent me congratulatory messages. Initially, I assumed the congrats were for my seven-year and counting, crippling social philanthropy. Not until I logged into my LinkedIn profile, and realized that March 2015 is when I started working.

Even after finding out the cause of the hullaballoo about my anniversary from among my social network, I did not get too excited; I wonder why? Well, “It is just teaching,” I said to myself.

“Plus, it is not a job I set out going to school for. Nor does it pay me any living wage to excite me,” my next thoughts.

But congrats messages continued trickling in, prompting me to reflect on this achievement. Perhaps the fact that other people are celebrating me more than I was, should have signaled to me, why I should treasure this achievement? After all, I am enjoying teaching K-12! True, I never set out to be a K-12 teacher, do not have an Education degree or full teaching license.

I am a Substitute Teacher [not yet permanently] employed with the public school system. I am one of the many teachers, recruited to fill-in, per need, for any homeroom teacher, or academic/professional school activity. I am one of the many convenient hires, increasingly a feature of the public school system, as in many other employment establishments, when the government does not want to offer a living wage to all its employability people. Like corporates, government is now seeking cheap available labor to do its difficult, dirty and dangerous jobs, without much financial responsibility or optimal workers welfare/compensation/protection.

That teaching is a difficult job is indisputable. It is also technically dirty and dangerous; those whom the teacher tries to protect might get one dirty. Indeed, working with children is not for the faint-hearted; they are as adorable as they are challenging. I often say, a teacher carries the entire world on his/her shoulders —of students, their parents, school administration, school supervisors, lawmakers, school budget dispensers, and the entire public, all invested in school output, more than input.

I confess that I had under-expected my achievement teaching K-12. Indeed, it is a big feat! This, from a girl who had sworn never to teach “little kids,” preferring instead, to stick to college and graduate-level students, “more mature and manageable,” or so I had convinced myself. Venturing into teaching K-12 was a path of transition back into the world of work, and because of my changed resume, which now primarily reads, “A Mother.”

I decided to venture into teaching K-12, to gain a deeper practical insight into the school curriculum and school system at the lower levels/early stages of formal education. Particularly because I did not obtain my earlier education in here in the United States, my new country of belonging. The educator in me is always curious about systems of learning I am not familiar with. I would like to be a great help to my child, an elementary schooler, as well as my new-found love for working with children, especially since becoming a parent.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not new to teaching young learners. As one of the last-born children in my family, I grew up with plenty of nieces and nephews, whom I played with, helped take care of, and equipped them with the “Children’s experience.” I enjoy hanging out with children, keeping them occupied, learning through giggling.

I enjoy the innocence of kids. I enjoy learning through them. I enjoy utilizing the lessons I learn from my child into my classrooms. Yes, Minecraft is an acceptable citation, when explaining logical, technical activities, or very brevity and resilience like the “Enderman.” So, are Dinosaurs perfect for illustrating how old one’s grandparent might be. And when you need to encourage young learners to “try something it might tastes or turn out good,” or that, “when you wait, you can play, sing or imagine anything,” Daniel Tiger is a perfect to quote.

So, to all those, like me, who venture into teaching, go out there, and courageously engage with young learners. They have so much to teach us, about ourselves, about our abilities, and about our own parenting. I am so glad that, I also get a chance to teach in Special Needs classrooms, engaging with autistic children, emotional support, gifted, learning, and reading support, life skills, partial hospitalization, and early intervention. I am grateful for the opportunity and a challenge, that came to me as an under-expected achievement!

Aluta Continua!

Goodbye, Brand #Uganda, Not #SoUg nomore!

So, I part ways with #BrandUganda! There is no value or satisfaction in defending an indefensible, intolerant, denigrating establishment.
I have been a good self-driven ambassador for Uganda, from my Diaspora location. Regardless of the habitual condemnation of “Diaspora nationals,” [of any country] by “those who stayed behind”. I am part of the African Diaspora, or “The New African Diaspora, herein referring to those who can trace their specific origin to any of the 54 states/countries of present day continental Africa, but live [permanently] outside their countries of birth or ancestry. We are often reminded that, “we abandoned our countries of birth/ancestral for “a beautiful life” elsewhere,” and dismissed as culturally ‘corrupted’ by cultures in our new countries of residence, unrealistic, and not attuned to events as they unfold in our countries of origin. We are often told off, by “those who stayed behind,” to stop unnecessary and undesirable interference in the national affairs of our countries of origin, which we supposedly abandoned on relocating elsewhere.
Even African Americans are often accused by Africans [including those in the Diaspora], of trying to force an ancestral link to continental Africa, yet they have no deep knowledge about it and are incapable of tracing their origin to any specific country. Plenty of Africans insist that African Americans are “Black” not African; the latter denotes “authentic” connection to the continent, while the former distinctly emphasizes descendants of slaves in America!
The fact is geography does not determine belonging to a particular social group or political entity. African Americans are as connected to Africa, as “the new African Diaspora,” by virtue of their ancestry, and preferred identification with the same geographical space. In fact, many Diaspora nationals globally, have played an important role in the welfare of their countries of ancestry or origin.
African Americans were a formidable force in the struggle for the decolonization of Africa, lobbying their United States and other western government, and through fundraising and financial donations to continental anti-colonial struggles, scholarly activism, and solid partnerships with continental African leaders and regional organizations. African Americans funded and facilitated the training of notable African leaders and scholars within the United States, hosted conferences denouncing colonial aggression and oppression, and participated in the then, Organization of African Unity (OAU) activities that culminated into eventual decolonization.
Today, the New African Diaspora, is very active in the economic, social and political development and advancement of their home countries. Diaspora remittences to many African countries supersede foreign direct investment or foreign aid, contributing greatly to the national treasury. Diaspora Africans also transfer and transmit technologies and social experiences from countries of residence to home countries. Moreover, they maintain lasting connections through family and friends “left behind,” and keep abreast with news and developments in their countries of origin. In some countries, Diaspora Africans are able to vote in national elections through their embassies or foreign missions.
True, we the Diaspora nationals are the unsung ambassadors of our countries of origin within their new countries of residence. As students or residents in our little corners here in the United States, African immigrants bring a new face of their countries of origin, among an American population that has never traveled beyond their zip code. We help undo the popular untruths among Americans that Africa is a wild jungle of war-torn countries, with poverty stricken, HIV/AIDS infected people, and potty-bellied begging orphans. Instead, Americans gain exposure to “a different African” —educated intellectuals, with a good command of the English language, healthy, and from wealthy family backgrounds. Resultantly, we, the African Diaspora alter the images about Africa, attract curiosity and potential tourists to our countries in Africa, often more effectively than our foreign missions in the United States.
Indeed, I have played my part, on flying the beautiful flag of Africa, and Uganda —my country of birth. I have embraced the mission of “undoing popular negative imagery about Africa,” in every country I have traveled to or lived, outside Uganda, most especially here in the United States where I have lived for nearly two decades. I am a self-propelled Afro-optimist, speaking and sharing my “Africa the beautiful”. As a Ugandan, I always challenge those who still identify Uganda with Idi Amin, reminding them that he left umpteen years ago, before I had an idea of who he was! In response to those who attack Ugandans as anti-homosexuality, I provide evidence that gays in fact have a vibrant social life in Uganda of weddings, funerals, parties, nights out about town, an annual gay pride, and registered civil society organizations defending LGBTQ rights.
True, slums sit side by side with upscale residential neighborhoods in the country, corner shops with tall buildings and sparkly shopping malls, and luxury sports cars cruise the city roads and country highways. Still, there is so much to celebrate about Uganda, inter alia, voted “Best Tourist Destination,” by Lonely Planet, and the “Most Entrepreneurial Country,” by Approved Index.
Exactly why, I had no hesitation jumping onto a #BrandUganda campaign, by a group of tourism and corporate Ugandans, dedicated to marketing Uganda in-country and to the outside world. The hashtag #Ondaba went viral, t-shirts printed with #Ondaba, and selfies shared of Ugandans wearing the t-shirts. Another hostage #IAmSoUg, also went viral on twitter, posted by was used by any Ugandan engaged in ‘patriotic’ activities, like tourism in-country and abroad. The #BrandUganda group, took the campaign to Spain, as Uganda’s self-propelled ambassadors seeking to entice Spanish soccer players and politicians to add Uganda to their tourist and business destination. I cheered them on.
Now, I am done! After the sham elections of February 18, 2016, I do not want to put my energies and my name to a gangsta mafia that grants itself the privilege of ruling Ugandans with an iron fist! I am not going to sink my might into an entity, stolen from me. I am not going to smear a project with sweet perfumes, when it is stinking rotten.
To those who will ask me about Amin, HIV/AIDS and Ebola, I am no longer going to boast about the progress Uganda has made since the days of Idi Amin. Nor quickly remind them of the resilience, enterprising spirit and hospitality of Ugandans. I will not interest them in visiting Uganda, no more!
Not when my Uganda is stolen by a thieving political machinery, hanging onto power by any means brutal and corrupt! I shall no longer attract opportunities to Uganda, to be robbed by a blood-sucking dictator, killing Ugandans, for demanding change and a chance to participate freely in choosing their preferred political leaders. There are no more praises to sing about Uganda; I am no longer interested in any #BrandUganda initiatives. Plenty of those posturing as #SoUg are in fact fetching heft rewards from nurturing and maintaining a monster in power.
No longer will I say that the political evil is in the nation’s past, when the evil, abusive and monstrous government of Museveni torments my country and my peoples. I will let all who ask, about the tear gas and live bullets, sprayed, clobbering, humiliating and murdering political activists, peaceful demonstrators and active citizens. Simply because they “Say No” to corruption, demand accountability, show up to vote, or dare to match peacefully for justice and peace for all Ugandans.
Goodbye #BrandUganda. No more no more No More!

Mommy School: Learning with kids About Persons With Disabilities

This week in “Mommy School,” Child of Mine (COM) and I are learning about Persons with Disabilities (PWDs), as well as preparing for Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday, in a week – January 18, 2016. COM is already involved with PWDs, reading to “Therapy Dogs” at our library Paws n’ Pages program.

I have explained to him the meaning of “therapy,” and that therapy dogs help people who cannot help themselves —such as, guide dogs that help their owners cross the road, comfort dogs for companionship, emergency rescue dogs helping owners out of fires, running errands around the house, or notifying 911 in case of life-threatening emergencies.

COM and I picked up a book from the library entitled, Sometimes Mommy Gets Mad, by Learning About Persons with disabilities - Jan 11 16Bebe Moore Campbell  (Author), E. B. Lewis (Illustrator), which explores the subject of “Bipolar Disorder” to young readers. It is a story about Annie’s mom, who is bright as the sunshine, but sometimes does not smile and gets very angry. Luckily for Annie, she has an understanding and caring grandma, her fortress to lean on, when mommy is having her “bad days”. And Mr. Neighbor, who understands that Annie’s mom does not mean bad, when she snaps at him, just for saying hello to her. Most importantly, Annie knows that, even when mommy seems angry on the outside, she loves her very much on the inside.

I explained to COM the meaning of “Bipolar disorder,” emphasizing the parallels between Annie’s mom, and when I am angry and displeased with him. Luckily, for me, COM reminded me that, I am not like Annie’s mom because I get mad at him for not making “good choices”—when he does not stay focused on his homework, or when he plays in the bathroom, instead of doing his routine — brush, floss and rinse.

I thought it would be helpful to supplement our book reading by introducing him to a real PWD who overcame challenges to excel. I thought it would help him understand that PWDs are not always sick and underachieved. I did not want him to feel sorry for them, but make him realize that he is privileged and has the abilities to excel, if PWDs can become winners.

I immediately thought of Oscar Pistorius, a South African spring runner and Olympic medalists, nicknamed “Blade Runner,” who overcame double amputation to compete in field and track with able-bodied persons. But after, murdering Reeva Steenkamp (no, I do not believe his “self-defense” crap), I did not want to expose COM to a tainted personality; he is not a role model, anymore!

Thankfully, there is the WWW, and there is YouTube, with plenty of videos about athletes with disabilities breaking records, and disabled persons doing extraordinary amazing stuff. We watched three videos:

1) Marcel Hug, winner of the 2015 Boston Marathon Wheelchair from Switzerland. COM got to see a marathon competitor in a wheelchair, using his hands, instead of his legs to race and climb the hill around Newton on the Boston Marathon route.

2) A mom and her son born without arms, but not deterred from enjoying life to the fullest, as active persons —swimming, cooking, playing sports, writing, dressing up themselves and getting on with their daily lives with smiles. I told COM that he had no excuse for not doing and achieving greatness, if a child without limbs could do everything.

3) Video about a double amputee mom, who found happiness after an attempted suicide. She tried to take her life by laying under a train, losing both her limbs. After becoming a mother, she said she found new meaning in life, and realized that life was not all about her. Having a child helped her find happiness and a purpose to live. And her latter boyfriend, made her life easier, and supported her in raising her son.

I explained to COM the meaning of “Depression,” when some people feel so sad and incapable of finding happiness within themselves. Some people take their own lives/kill themselves or the lives of others. COM got to see artificial legs, and the mom putting them on and off.

Next on our agenda is a practical experience of “the life of PWDs”. We will practice using crutches and a wheelchair, play a game, where he tries to eat with his hands tied up, and write a story while blindfolded.

Have you have you introduced your little ones to the subject of Persons With Disabilities? Share your stories and strategies.

New Years Resolution

Of course I am going to make New Year Resolutions. What would a New Year be, without resolutions! Lose 30 pounds in on one week!

Happy New Year 2016, Y’all!

Happy New Year 2016

We made it!

It ain’t a joke entering a new year! I sat down, waiting for the clock to ring in mid-night, for the ball to drop, pondering about the uncertainty of entering a new year!

Particularly because, I was on the road, traveling out of state, away from my habitual residence, to join friends in welcoming the new year. I left Child of Mine behind, the second year in a row! I have to shamefully confess that, this is my second year, in a row, welcoming the New Year, away from Child of Mine, third out of the last four years

2013 – I was in Uganda, and welcomed the New Year with fellow Drinkers with a Running Problem, Kampala Hash House Harriers. On NYE, I went on a group run around Kampala City, thereafter hangout with the group, and at close to midnight, proceeded to Kololo hill to watch the fireworks.

2014 —I stayed home with Child of Mine, and we tossed to the new Year.

2015 — I went on a two-year run with Pocono Area Running Club, starting 23:00 on New Year Eve. The clock ticked mid-night —New Year’s Day, while alone the route. But I went back home that night and kissed a Happy New Year to COM!

2016 — I traveled to the Big Apple to join my Scandinavian friend, and his international group of friends in welcoming the New Year. I decided not to take COM with me, to give myself a break from “Being Mommy,” and a chance to “Be Doreen”. I left him with his cousins and grandmother, until the following night of New Year’s Day.

I made it safely into The City, in under two hours. I took a public commuter van into The City, for my sanity and safety —no worry about parking, falling asleep in traffic or getting stuck on the road. I slept the entire ride to The City, and woke up in time to hit the bright city lights, and right on time for the party!

Thankful for rich friends, who can afford $2M high rise apartments right above Port Authority bus terminal in Manhattan. Reminds me of my friend’s kids who used to cal me “Our Rich Auntie from the Hilton” [Story for another day]. I had a clear “Point of View” of the entire city, on the top @the35th. It looked good, a welcome escape from the hustle and bustle of the streets below, packed with New Yorkers and plenty of its tourists, trying to catch a glimpse of the ball dropping. [Oh! “The Ball” dropping! Oh the fireworks!].

Great night! Barilla pasta, and french bread; of Norwegian candy, and french champagne, of Norwegian cheese and middle eastern humus; all courtesy of my former Norwegian landlord in Oslo. An international night! With the Norwegian host, a Norwegian family, an American, a Chinese family, and a Dutch Italian pasta-making man [who made the pasta dinner], and this very Ugandan very American girl. Impressed that all the European men present said, they are the main cooks in the family!

The crowd was a pleasure! All intellectuals, and academics in universities and research institutions. We laughed, cracked joked, ate, drank, shared parts of ourselves, exchanged resolutions, and our confusions at the ‘disappearance’ of the Ball dropping and fireworks at the tick of New Year 2016!

I spent soundly throughout the night, with a beautiful view of The City, the harbor and the Hudson! I woke up, then went back to sleep, until I did not have to. Woke up, drank tea, shared our life trajectories, interrogated our insecurities and our hopes and dreams and commitments with the Dutchman, ate bread, drank more tea. Went for a New Year’s Day run in Central Park in the company of the flying Dutchman.

Back to our 35th, took a shower, went out to the grocery store and picked up a couple of ingredients for dinner. Made another pasta dinner, and tuna sauce and leftover champagne. Then it was time to head back to COM, onto the subway, the bus and Exit 302.

So, back to my resolutions

  1. Giving more gratitude to my family and friends
    i) My family, who love me regardless. I think, and I know, they love me unconditionally. Spoken or unspoken, they show me undying love. They don’t judge me, they don’t pressure me. They wait for me, to rise up, if I fall, and recuperate at my pace. They have outpouring love for Chid of Mine, steadfast love. I do not have to say it umpteen times, because they know I love them…as much as they love me…and I appreciate them. May 2016 be a year to see and enjoy the physical company of my family, more often.
    ii) My friends; I have the best friends in the world —one is Resting in Peace, around me! My friends, know me and appreciate me, regardless. I can call on them in an instant, and they will listen, and hold me down. They are the best the world could ever gift anybody. They inspire me, pump me up, remind me of the beauty of the life within me, and our shared friendships. They see the good in me, and remind me of my strength. They prompt me, knowingly or not, to hang on, hold on steadfast, and continue to pursue my best. May 2016 be the year filled with friendships. Hoping to see my friends in person this year.
  2. Understand Child of Mine (COM) much more. Continue working on being the best mother and father to this child. Work calmly and firmly with COM, listen as much as I speak to him. Support as much as I demand from him. Nurture as much as I suggest from him. Provide comfort and confidence as much as I teach him. Guide, as much as I learn from him. May 2016 also bring us another person into our lives —a partner and father figure for COM.
  3. Become Doreen, again. Do all the things I have always done to represent my brand. Lose the baggage — on my body, my mind, my head, and get back into my fit, healthy, fighter spirit again. Get back into winning and rising above all challenges. I am no stranger to this! Find the go-getter, creator and winning innovative Doreen.
    Keep an active on Social Media, communicating, learning, negotiating, and continuing to grow and thrive as a person and social being. Accepting the challenges of social media, challenge social relations and improve and grow my communication channels.
  4. Grateful, that social media has taught me not to take personal the differences of opinion, but negotiate my place and refine my views. I have become more accepting of difference of opinions and accepted alternative reactions, even when it is personal attacks against me or bitter responses against me. Social media is social living.
  5. Continue writing for fun, for meditation, for inspiration, to share, to relate to others, to learn, to teach and reach other. I hope to publish one or two writings in reputable fora. I hope to get back into writing for active citizenship of the African Diaspora and as a public intellectual.
  6. Focus on finding *meaning* in life, as a journey to *happiness*. 2015 gave reaffirmation that Emotional Intelligence/“Emotional Quotient,” is as important as “Intellectual Quotient,” or “Logic”. I felt vindicated by the social acknowledgement of “meaning” rather than just “happiness,” as key to a fulfilling life.
  7. I will keep treading the hard paths and staying the course. I will keep talking the hard talk, not shying away from it, irrespective of the audience. I will persevere, venture outside my comfort zone: commit to my social causes —of fundraising, building a brand; transforming my passion into my livelihood. I will bring my child with along with me, while we build a brand, to serve others, while also serving ourselves.
  8. Get back into the Dating Game. Intriguingly, 2016 started off with me in the “company of men”; the right kind of men, from the geographical zones I want to live. No! I am not running away; I am running into greatness. Never “actively searched,” but I am open to different avenues of finding love, real love and commitment. I want to date.
  9. Run four marathons in the year; three marathons will be fine. One marathon per season: winter, spring, summer and fall. If my finances will not allow me to sign up for one each season, at I will run a marathon on my own. I know I can wake up in the morning, and ran a marathon. But I hope to afford going out, and running with a group. I have identified four potential marathons, on my bucket list…two in my geographical location; one close to family [will need two air tickets] and will find another, possibly where another one of my family is located. Or another location without a need for a plane ticket or hotel accommodation.
  10. Finally, Give less Fcuks than POTUS gave 2015. With all the achievements on the economy, diplomacy, politics and social service, POTUS still got rotten eggs slammed at him, demeaned, undermined and belittled like a subhuman. So, rightly, he ran out of Fucks to give; haters gonna hate, and he just shook it off! Same here, I am plan to care less about failure, and more about trying again. I am going to pay less attention to disappointments, and devote more attention to rising up. I am going to devote less energy into self-criticisms, and more self-appraising. I am going to shut away the misgivings, misunderstandings, and under-appreciation. I will focus more on transformation, recovery, strength and achieving.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016 Y’ALL!